I want every cis straight person in the world to read this book. Instead, as I was reading, I kept thinking, “I want literally everybody to read this.” Of course, I want my trans, nonbinary, and questioning friends to read this book, but I also want my parents to read this book. I expected this book to be aimed solely at people who are questioning their gender identity, based on the title. And the authors are careful to note the ways in which sexuality, culture, race and class intersect with and influence people’s expectations around gender. There are plenty of quotes from people of diverse gender identities, showing a wide range of experiences. They include several exercises to help define the impact your gender identity has on your life, and how to explore your relationship to gender. Instead, the authors slowly, carefully, delicately unpack the concept of gender and its implications on our lives, acknowledging that it’s a charged and emotional subject and sprinkling mindfulness breaks throughout the book. What I expected was for a little intro on the concept of gender and then, I don’t know, a bunch of quizzes to try and figure out a gender label for myself. Never before have I had a book so gently and lovingly take me by the hand and explain, in the most nonthreatening and accessible way possible, a difficult concept.
How to Understand Your Gender: A Practical Guide to Exploring Who You Areby Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker was not what I expected it to be.
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